Finger

German for finger.

And other one liners I have planned
regarding the contents of my apocalypse bag.

Like most Americans, you owe me two adderall.
And like most Americans, I often point to things. I do this with my finger. I don't go into much detail, but I state: that's why the terrorists hate us. I'm pretty good at this. I consider myself aware.
As a conspiracy buff, I also consider myself prepared. If not overly prepared. Some doubt this upon first viewing my apocalypse bag, fashioned by The North Face. I don't let this deter me from what my therapist knows to be true, which is that I am on the right cocktail, and shouldn't stray from my meds. Either way you're gonna be all over me and my adderall, and I rub your face in it.
I'll most likely be peaking. And hyper and anxious because I already know what I'm gonna say, every fucking time, I save your fucking life. Because I knew! I fucking knew it was gonna go down like this. I told you so.
I will point this out often.
And if I haven't told you how the worlds gonna end, then... get used to this kind of attitude, I put some in the bag, along with all the other things you thought were stupid.
And without further confusion, here's every one liner I have to say regarding the contents of my Apocalypse bag (fashioned by The North Face), in order of usage, to you and your dumb face.

1. Is this wall looking to get grappled? Let's not forgot about those two adderall you owe me.

2. Don't even ask me, it's a bottle of addys. I'll sell you some, but I'm only taking Canadian. Whatever they use, and however silly it seems.

3. This is my last machete?

4. Only one head fits in this gas mask. Flawed design.

5. Don't break those night vision goggles! They're Russian.

6. This Eton Grunding FR250 Silver AM/FM/Shortwave Radio, Flashlight, and... ain't gonna wind itself.

7. If the sun comes back, I honestly, scouts honor ( I say this out loud and hold my fingers up as well.. I went back and forth over the last four years and debated wether to actually pull the scouts honor crap, and then there's this bit about how I actually do have expired Tama-flu, because I lie about this for several days, until the bird flu is even more overwhelming than the radiation, but I don't know if we'll be up-wind, or what. Either way Its the same stunt I pull with the Thyroid capsules (they came with the mask). I'll be so wacked out on xanax and whatever else I traded that switchblade I promised you, that, like, you're the one who looks silly when Jihads start raining Koreans from the sky, and you thought I... I betray you a lot. You can have my spare compass, if you're still convinced it just didn't work that one time. Only. And not the fifteen other fucking times).

8. Mayan interrupting something?

9. This baton was an amazon.com purchase, and expands two feet, into the same thing. I threaten you with it, and force you to disrobe. If you're not bitten, I don't knife you with my switch blade, and WE MOVE ON. If bitten, stop here and never come back.

There were explosions I never mentioned. It's pivotal.
Terrible things are said and you're deaf. I think you're starting to turn.
It's my birthday. We play it off. I tongue you at midnight.
I will admit to something. It will sound genuine.
I want sex by 2013. It's not a promise or a threat.
I lie about my symptoms.
I enjoy none of this, and your cough improves.
Mayan anything, is worthless and heavy.
The NorthWest Territories, depending on the mood.
Tin Foil blankets suck. Kuru becomes seductive.
We don't always agree, but I don't care. Never did.
Lets not forget what's fashioned by The North Face, and strapped to my back.



Emoticons are a sign of weakness.

-Smokeland Mitch Gayler

P.S. The image above is the second result in a google query, under images, for images. The first was a hack job.

P.P.S. It only felt appropriate. After all, finger in German is finger. I could be wrong about that.