The Glory Hole Tour Across America:

Chapter 11: Minneapolis, Minnesota


Ten quick facts about Minneapolis:

1. It sucks.
2. It’s actually The Twin Cities.
3. The second one sucks too.
4. Wisconsin is only a twenty minute drive away.
5. You will never bump into anyone from your former life, ever.
6. If you’ve lost someone to Crystal Meth, even yourself, check Minneapolis, or its twin.
7. Home of superstores: Target and Walmart.
8. Behind both establishments are meth dealers. Always.
9. Wisconsin borders Minnesota on all sides and is twenty minutes away from every Target.
10. What I miss?

Onto the Glory Holes!

There are glory holes, and then there are glory holes. Minneapolis contains the latter.

There are three glory holes in The Twin Cities. Two of them are located in Dinky Town. One is behind the Dunn Brothers Coffee Shop on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 7am to 9am only. Time may be limited but worth it since the hole is adjacent to the back entrance. Everyone rushes through their morning routine, buzzed and ready for head.

The second is located inside the last Cideon Oneplex Movie Theatre. Fourth row in, fourth seat in. If I could give this hole a name, it would be Brutus. And that still doesn’t fully describe what I must have mistaken for a fucking denture factory.

The third glory hole, and quite possibly the most intriguing thing about the Twin Cities is that its located right by The Mississippi River, underneath the collapsed bridge. I like this hole because it was made for people my height. I’m normally the glory, but in this case I was whatever you call a man whose dick falls off within a month.

In retrospect, I might have the clap.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is the Cideon Oneplex still open? Where specifically do you park near the fallen bridge?

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous. Did you find the location at the fallen bridge?

Anonymous said...

give clear directions to all please thanks

Anonymous said...

When I have some strangers rock hard cock on my mouth and I am giveing him head he moans and grunts and tells me I'm his bitch and he cums in my mouth while I deep throat his dick and I swallow every last drop of his warm sperm shooting out endlessly down my throat.

Anonymous said...

Are there any glory holes still in Mpls?
If so where?

Anonymous said...

are any of these still around?

Anonymous said...

Hennepin Avenue Adult Boutique
420 Hennepin Ave

they have glory holes in the vid booths in the basement. there is always someone in the booths to the right

Anonymous said...

For the adult boutique, do you just walk in to the glory hole booth or what? I'd like to get into this ;)

Anonymous said...

What if they try to cut off ur dick

Anonymous said...

anyone know of any gloryholes in cambridge minnesota?

Anonymous said...

If you make it, (and post it) they will come... No pun intended, someone make a hole!!!

Anonymous said...

any in mankato?

Anonymous said...

Are there any in Wadena MN?

Anonymous said...

Anyone ever been to the glory hole at "the Pig Pen" (PigPenPlayroom@gmail.com)

Unknown said...

Apparently the guy that publishes this blog is a complete fucking duche bag. The only thing interesting about him is the cum on his chin. Mpls is a great city with plenty to do. He's probably from Des Moines.

Anonymous said...

And there are numerous glory holes here in MN... Target ladies room at starlight center.. Just make one in woman's BR... Or come to new hope MN and its one right by park but need more women

Anonymous said...

What about any glory holes near Eau Claire Wisconsin

Anonymous said...

You have my attention...

Anonymous said...

Of the female persuasion?
Seems all glory holes are just guys...